Leah Elizabeth was born on Monday, March 7 by c-section at 5:16pm. She gave a good little cry when she came out, which we were not expecting at all. The nurses hurried up, wiped her off, wrapped her in a blanket, and placed her directly on my chest. She faced me the entire time and while she never opened her eyes (we assume that they're blue) there was an immediate connection. I cradled her full head of hair in one hand and caressed her soft skin with the other. Her tiny little fingers held tightly onto Jason's finger. We could see her heart beating in her little chest and she continued to make small crying noises (kind of like squeaks). We had a great conversation with her: We told her Happy Birthday, how much we love her, how proud of her we are for giving her all, how much her brother loves her and that she was going to get to meet him very soon, and how absolutely beautiful she is! We had a priest in the operating room with us, who baptised her on my chest shortly after she was placed in my arms. She did wonderfully as we prayed for her and asked for God to care for her. When Jason tried to pick her up from my chest, she protested loudly, lol... she didn't want to leave her Mommy. She had her weight taken (5lbs, 6oz), her umbilical cord cut by Jason, her footprints put on the birth announcement, and received her hospital bands. Jason and my doctor both held her before bringing her back to me. In the meantime, the nurse brought me the first blanket she was wrapped in and the first little hat that they put on her. We could not get over how much she looks like Bryce. She has his same chin, mouth, & tiny little ears, but has Mommy's nose (hers is smushed just like mine was when I was born). Her arms and legs are very short and her hands & feet even smaller. Her head really wasn't all that big, though she did have some of the frontal bossing and her feet weren't even clubbed! We fell immediately in love with every little inch of her!
The Doula that we worked with was amazing in making sure our requests were respected and adhered to and we were even given permission to bend the rules a little. (For instance allowing Bryce to come into the recovery room.) She took pictures and video taped in the operating room for us, held my hand while I was getting my spinal (they wouldn't let Jason in yet), and along with the anestheologist explained everything that was going on.
(Oh...PS: about my amniotic fluid, it was litterally splashing everywhere after the incision was made and filled several gallons.)
As soon as we got to recovery, they let Bryce and my brother & sister (they're both Bryce's and Leah's Godparents) back to see us. Bryce was a little frightened at first becuase everyone was still in their operating room scrubs, but warmed up quickly. He didn't take a huge interest in Leah, but he pointed to her and said "baby," and he pointed to his nose and her nose. He gave Leah the "Baby Bunny" that he made for her. We did have a little scare... When Jason was holding her he realized that her breathing had slowed down and he couldn't see her heart beating in her chest like we had first seen when she was laying on me. The nurse checked and she was still alive! What a sigh of relief....
We gave Bryce his Big Brother present - a Baby Einstein laptop (or as he says "op-top") which he screamed with excitement for and sat in a chair for a few minutes playing with it before they left. He also enjoyed eating all of my ice chips! Now it was my turn for a scare. I was holding Leah on my chest and it didn't seem like she was breathing anymore. We asked the nurse to check again. She listed for almost 2 mintues before pronouncing the end of her life at 6:25. We all cried, and no one knew what to say, but I think we were all happy that she had passed in my arms without even struggling for her last breath. It was peaceful and for that we are grateful. Before my brother, sister, and Bryce left for the evening, Bryce (& her Godparents) kissed her on her forehead. I just know that Leah felt how much Bryce and her Godparents love her!
When it was just Jason and I left with Leah, the Doula helped us make several ink prints of her feet & hands and also got them in plaster molds. (A wonderful gift from a co-worker - Thank You!) Jason and I gave Leah her first bath and we got to explore every little inch of her tiny body. She truly is perfect and just beautiful. We combed out her hair and were able to cut a few locks for her baby book. We put her in her comfy little sleeper (which ended up being huge), put on her big, fuzzy hat, and swaddled her in her blanket and just snuggled with her for a long time. Again, we talked to her telling her how proud of her we are for being such a fighter to be with us. We told her that as much as we wanted her here with us, we know that she is in a special place with our Heavenly Father who will give her more love than we could ever imagine! We also put her in her beautiful gown that was hand-made for her by our new friend, Danielle. She looked like she was ready to be the belle of the ball!
We also had our photographer from NILMDTS present. We found out last minute that was permitted to be in the operating room, the recovery room, and anywhere else we wanted her to be. She was super professional and compassionate. She stayed with us for 4 hours and took whatever pictures we asked her to along with the photo opportunities she saw. I cannot wait to see the pictures, I know that they will be beautiful and will help keep Leah alive in our hearts forever! This woman has a very special place in our hearts now for the amazing gift of preserving those memories. I will post a few pictures as soon as we receive them.
We are so thankful and grateful to the hospital staff for respecting our wishes, our birth plan, and being respectful to Jason and I, but most of all to Leah. Many of the nurses and doctors have stopped by my room to tell us how she touched their lives in just a few minutes and what a beautiful and perfect baby she is!
A HUGE "thank you" to everyone who has been praying for us and prayed extra hard on Monday. Even though we did not receive a miracle of everything being "okay," we did receive the miracle of spending more than just a few minutes with our Baby Girl and meeting her alive! God Bless Baby Leah and everyone who has prayed for us!
The Doula that we worked with was amazing in making sure our requests were respected and adhered to and we were even given permission to bend the rules a little. (For instance allowing Bryce to come into the recovery room.) She took pictures and video taped in the operating room for us, held my hand while I was getting my spinal (they wouldn't let Jason in yet), and along with the anestheologist explained everything that was going on.
(Oh...PS: about my amniotic fluid, it was litterally splashing everywhere after the incision was made and filled several gallons.)
As soon as we got to recovery, they let Bryce and my brother & sister (they're both Bryce's and Leah's Godparents) back to see us. Bryce was a little frightened at first becuase everyone was still in their operating room scrubs, but warmed up quickly. He didn't take a huge interest in Leah, but he pointed to her and said "baby," and he pointed to his nose and her nose. He gave Leah the "Baby Bunny" that he made for her. We did have a little scare... When Jason was holding her he realized that her breathing had slowed down and he couldn't see her heart beating in her chest like we had first seen when she was laying on me. The nurse checked and she was still alive! What a sigh of relief....
We gave Bryce his Big Brother present - a Baby Einstein laptop (or as he says "op-top") which he screamed with excitement for and sat in a chair for a few minutes playing with it before they left. He also enjoyed eating all of my ice chips! Now it was my turn for a scare. I was holding Leah on my chest and it didn't seem like she was breathing anymore. We asked the nurse to check again. She listed for almost 2 mintues before pronouncing the end of her life at 6:25. We all cried, and no one knew what to say, but I think we were all happy that she had passed in my arms without even struggling for her last breath. It was peaceful and for that we are grateful. Before my brother, sister, and Bryce left for the evening, Bryce (& her Godparents) kissed her on her forehead. I just know that Leah felt how much Bryce and her Godparents love her!
When it was just Jason and I left with Leah, the Doula helped us make several ink prints of her feet & hands and also got them in plaster molds. (A wonderful gift from a co-worker - Thank You!) Jason and I gave Leah her first bath and we got to explore every little inch of her tiny body. She truly is perfect and just beautiful. We combed out her hair and were able to cut a few locks for her baby book. We put her in her comfy little sleeper (which ended up being huge), put on her big, fuzzy hat, and swaddled her in her blanket and just snuggled with her for a long time. Again, we talked to her telling her how proud of her we are for being such a fighter to be with us. We told her that as much as we wanted her here with us, we know that she is in a special place with our Heavenly Father who will give her more love than we could ever imagine! We also put her in her beautiful gown that was hand-made for her by our new friend, Danielle. She looked like she was ready to be the belle of the ball!
We also had our photographer from NILMDTS present. We found out last minute that was permitted to be in the operating room, the recovery room, and anywhere else we wanted her to be. She was super professional and compassionate. She stayed with us for 4 hours and took whatever pictures we asked her to along with the photo opportunities she saw. I cannot wait to see the pictures, I know that they will be beautiful and will help keep Leah alive in our hearts forever! This woman has a very special place in our hearts now for the amazing gift of preserving those memories. I will post a few pictures as soon as we receive them.
We are so thankful and grateful to the hospital staff for respecting our wishes, our birth plan, and being respectful to Jason and I, but most of all to Leah. Many of the nurses and doctors have stopped by my room to tell us how she touched their lives in just a few minutes and what a beautiful and perfect baby she is!
A HUGE "thank you" to everyone who has been praying for us and prayed extra hard on Monday. Even though we did not receive a miracle of everything being "okay," we did receive the miracle of spending more than just a few minutes with our Baby Girl and meeting her alive! God Bless Baby Leah and everyone who has prayed for us!
8 comments:
Dear Kim and Jason-
Your story broke my heart. Roy and I experienced a similar event almost 17 years ago when the son I was carrying was diagnosed with a birth defect. We knew that if he was born, his chances of survival were slim. I wanted to just keep him inside me where I knew he was safe. I knew that we would lose him once he was born. Roy and I have felt the pain you are feeling.
I love that you had the strength to share your experience. Many other parents will benefit from reading your story.
If we can do anything for you, please don't hesitate to let us know.
Irene and Roy Williams- your next-door neighbors.
(((HUGS)))
God Bless sweet Baby Leah and your entire family. Thoughts and prayers are being sent to you. What a beautifully written story of Leah's precious life. What a blessing:)
Much Love,
Sally
You know know me but I am so glad you had these sweet moments with your baby girl. I recently gave birth to a sweet baby girl that has the exact same diagnosis, however we didn't know it until her second day of life. She had been diagnosed with achondroplasia. My heart aches for you as I know the pain. Please follow my blog and read of our story as well. We will pray that God will carry you through these difficult days, if you ever want to talk please don't hesitate to contact me. It has sure helped me to talk to other women.
If you get this comment twice I am sorry. I don't know if my last one went through.
First of all, I am sooo deeply sorry for your loss. I am praingthat God will carry you through this tough time and that you will never lose sight of Him.
Secondly, our daughter passed away to the same skeletal dysplasia on Feb. 12th of this year. We didn't know she had TD1, our perinatologist was positive she had achondoplasia.
If you want to talk please contact me. My email is beckycoley@gmail.com. It helped me to have other mothers to talk to who have lost a child.
Again, I am lifting you and your family up in prayer!
Becky
What a beautiful story. I am so happy that you had time with Leah. I teared up reading this because it brought me to the birth of my daughter. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. I know the days ahead are not going to be easy. Sending you many ((HUGS))
Jason and Kim,
You have been in our prayers from the beginning. You guys are so strong and have a great support system to get you through these tough times! It was so wonderful to hear about the time you got to spend with Leah! You will have everlasting memories of her forever. Baby Leah knows what a wonderful family she has! She will be looking down on you always. God bless you guys and we love you!
I don't know you but was so touched by your words and the love you have for your precious Leah.
God chose you to be Leah's parents for a reason. You gave Leah the best time on earth possible. God will comfort you always; just always remember that he is always there for you.
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